HI!

 

I just wanted to let everyone know that I moved back to RadiantButterfly

I'm sorry for this inconvience because I already know that you've changed your links, so if you could, please change them back to RadiantButterfly.bravejournal.com

Thanks!
I'm sorry, once again, for the inconvienence.

Dear God,
There is a desire deep within me to breakout of my comfort zone. I long to praise you, God. You know my heart. You've searched it many times. Search me again, Father, and you will see the longing that is within my spirit. What other reason is there for me to sit and write this? You know me better than I know myself. Why would I even try and lie to you, God of All?

Worship is upon my heart, a song upon my tongue, and praise upon my lips. A breakout of praise and worship long to be birted from my belly, out of my mouth, and into th air where I know not what to do and can't contain myself in your presence.

Father, you know this. You know me. You know who I am. You know where I am in you, and You know where I want to be in You. For Your word clearly states that if we take delight in You then You will give us the desires of out hearts. You know the desires of mine. Anything that I ask in the name of Jesus, I can have. Anything that I bind on Earth shall be bound in Heaven, and anything that I loose on Earth shall be loosed in Heaven.

Father, help me to put this proud heart into the trash compactor, and You replace it with a circumsized one according to Your likeness, will, and way.

God, you know that it's my heart's desire to sing beautifully unto You - the glorify and magnify Your Holy Name. Everything that flows into my body and out of my body be for you, God. My heart is in You. You are in my heart. My being is in You, and You are in my being.

I write not to glorify myself, but for the honor of Your name.

I feel as if I'm at war with myself and everyone around me. Why??? Why am I like this? God, You know the circumstances and You know the situations. I don't even have to state what they are. Please remove this burden off of me and my chest. Help me to d owhat you would do.

I know things work in their own timing and for their own season, but Lord, is it my time yet? Is it my season? Is it wrong to want more than a season? Am I selfish to want longer than a lifetime?

The way that I see it is I want to sing beautifully. Not just to your ears, but to my own and to everyone elses. I know that this is mine, but why isn't it here yet? I see numerous famous people and people around me who have beautiful singing voices, yet I don't feel as if I do. Show me it, Lord. I know that I bugg you because it is my heart's desire. To sing, exalt, lift up, magnify, glorify, praise and worship you is my desire. You've placed this burning desire within me and I can't do anything without you.

Please forgive me if I'm putting that before you. I don't mean to and I'm sorry if I am.

Afterall, where can I go that you're not there?

I want to one day look upon your face and hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." and know in my heart that it's true.

I long to seek you,
for you are mine.
I love you, Lord Jesus.
I love you, Father God.

Your Child and Servant,
~Erika

Are you looking for someone to be gentle with your broken heart and shattered dreams?
Are you searching for someone who will be faithful to you no matter what life brings?
Well, I know the Maker of the storm, the sunrise.
He is both the Lion and the Lamb.
He is strong enough to shake all Earth and Heaven.
Yet meek enough to take me as I am.

He says come unto Me all who are weary
and I will give you rest.
Bring what hurts, bring your scars,
bring the load that you carry
and I will give you rest.

Are the clouds above your head oh so heavy bursting with showers of despair?
Do you struggle under more than you can carry?
Has life given more than you can bare?
Would you like to trade your failures in for victories?
Like piles of ashes in for piles of gold.
Can you fall down like a child who is helpless so He can pick you up and make you whole?

He says come unto Me all who are weary
and I will give you rest.
Bring what hurts, bring your scars,
bring the load that you carry
and I will give you rest.

Today didn't feel like Sunday.
It still doesn't feel like Sunday.

I feel off lately. It seems like my days are all messed up. I'm constantly doing something. I'm seriously never even online anymore. I miss it in a way and then again I don't. There's so much more out in the world than what's behind a click of a mouse. I miss everyone that I'm used to talking to.

I went to church today, of course. It was awesome. We were supposed to get with Chaz, Kimberly, Tony, and Tallen after service to practice the dance that we're supposed to minister together, but things didn't work out. Everyone has a way busy life lately so we just made plans to go for next Sunday. We're really wanting this to be done for Camp Meeting. I honestly can't wait for that. I just KNOW that God is going to move like never before and that we're going to the next level in Him, if not just one level, then farther.

I want to keep writing, but I don't really know what to say. I feel like there is so much that should be coming out of me. I want to be able to write like I used to. Maybe that's the problem. My yesterday's are over and gone, tomorrow isn't promised, and today is what counts.

I need to remember that.

I have a song on my heart so now you get to read it. It came as a shock to me because I love it and have loved it since my worldly days. I always thought that it had beautiful words. It turns out it's a Christian song and I never knew it.

It's by Plumb,
and it's called "Here with me."

"In my head I have dreams.
I have visions of many things.
Questions; longings; in my mind.

Pictures fill my head.
I feel so trapped instead,
but trapped doesn't seem so bad
because You are here.

It doesn't mean anything without You here with me.
And I can try to justify, but I still need You here with me.

In my heart I had hope built on dreams I'll never know.
Answers to love left behind

Visions fill my head.
I feel so trapped instead,
but trapped doesn't seem so bad
because You are here.

It doesn't mean anything without You here with me.
And I can try to justify, but I still need you here with me.

I can't do anything without You.
You give me strength to do anything.
I can't be everything I try to.
You saved me from everything I couldn't be."

I relate to that song so well because inside of my heart I had dreams built up so high that were at the peak of taking off. I could have been a rockstar. I wanted to be a rockstar until God revealed the truth to me and I realized it all. I'll never know those from worldly principles now. I love the left for that behind.

Anyway! I must run now, I hope to talk to you all soon.

Email me!
ErikaWho322@yahoo.com

Right now I stand in the name of the Lord and I bind any powers of darkness that are trying to inhabit my home. I bind their clutches in the name of Jesus, and I plead the blood of Jesus over it all.

 

Nothing will come of this. They are nothing. In the name of Jesus they have to flee. I'm not standing for the things that are trying to come into this godly household through the actions of one individual. I bind it now, and I bind the spirit that is within and on them.

Thank you God.

I am pressed but not crushed. Persecuted not abandoned. I'm struck down but not destroyed. I am blessed beyond the curse for His promise will endure that His joy is going to be my strength.

 

Zion is calling me to a higher place of praise. To stand up on the mountain and magnify His name. To tell all the people and every nation that He reigns. Zion is calling me to a higher place of praise.

Wow, I'm back.
It has been long enough.

So much has been going on. We all know about the great devastation that hit the Gulf Coast. I've been keeping everyone in my prayers. Our church is organizing a distaster relief stuff for all of the victims. My pastors are originally from an area around Biloxi, Mississippi so they plan on taking food and supplies there very soon. There's so much going on that I don't even know where to begin.

Our church is having Camp Meeting in October which basically means we're having revival for like 5 days straight, and probably more of God wants us to. This means that our dance ministry has to make up 4-5 new dances. We're supposed to minister at least two of the nights that it is being held. We're also getting with the Posse dance team and coming out with a song together. It's going to be awesome!

Our ministry is doing
"No Weapon" - Fred Hammond
"You are an awesome wonder" - Kurt Carr
"Dance like David" - Fred Hammond
"Your Majesty" - T.D. Jakes

and possibly something else that we haven't figured out yet.

We're then getting together with the Posse and doing "Walking Dead" by Deitrick Haddon. We've got like half of "No weapon" and "Walking Dead" done. We're going to start having practices with Chaz, Tony, Tallen, and Kim (the Posse dance team) Sunday's after church.

This all has to be completed by like October 9th. On top of that we've got worship team practice every other Thursday. SO much to do. Good stuff.

I got a phone call while I was gone this weekend. It was my aunt saying that my uncle was in really bad condition and they were taking him to the hospital. I didn't think anything of it, and it turns out the he pasts away Monday. He wasn't a Christian.. well, he wasn't until Sunday. He knew that he was dying and asked my aunt to say the sinner's prayer with him. He got saved.

God is truly amazing!
Saturday night/Sunday morning God kept me up until 2:30-3:30 a.m. praying. I kept praying for my family and calling out names. It turns out that since then God has been working in the lives of the family members. God is an awesome wonder.

The past few days I've read over more than half of the book of Psalms. I can't keep myself out of it. I've been getting back into the word, praying, praising, and worshiping. I can definatly feel God drawing me back to Him closer and farther than where I expected to be. I'm discovering the true heart of worship. I keep saying the true heart, but I know that I'm nowhere near close. I long to seek His face and be as close to Him as I possibly can. On top of all of this I've been exercising. I woke up at 6 a.m. this morning to go walking. I walked about a mile and a half then came back home and exercised. My legs hurt, but I'll be okay. I've got to get these extra pounds off. I'm tired of being a chunk-munster.

Anyway, I'm going to go read, pray, worship, and dance.
I love you all and I miss you! Byee! <3

In the darkness where everything is unknown I faced the power of sin on my own. I did not know of a place I could go where I could find a way to heal my wounded soul. He said that I could come into his precence without fear; into the holy place where His mercy hovers near.

I'm running. I'm running. I'm running to the mercy seat where Jesus is calling. He said His grace will cover me. His blood will flow freely. It will provide the healing. I'm running to the mercy seat. I'm running to the mercy seat.

Are you living where hope has not lived? Lost in the curse of a life time of sin? Lovely illusions - they never come true. I know where there's a place of mercy for you. He said that you come into His precence without fear; into the holy place where His mercy hovers near.

Come running. Come running. Come running to the mercy seat where Jesus is calling. His grace will be a covering. His blood with flow freely. It will provide the healing. Come running to the mercy seat.

He said that I could come into his precence without fear; into the holy place where His mercy hovers near. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running to the mercy seat where Jesus is calling. He said His grace will cover me. His blood will flow freely. It will provide the healing. I'm running to the mercy seat. I'm running to the mercy seat.

I'm running to the mercy seat.

Hi Jesus,

You know, I could start off by telling you what all is going wrong. I could start off by telling you what needs to be fixed in my life. I could start off by telling you how I'm hurting. I could start off by complaining. I could start off by doing a lot of things, but instead I choose to thank you.

I'm choosing to praise you. I'm choosing to worship you through my circumstances. Though I may feel like a part of the world is crumbling down all around me, I'm going to stand. I'm going to stand knowing that you've never left me. Standing knowing that your tender hands hold my heart.

All of our minds attention, all our heart's affection, every heart cry, every rhyme. Everybody is worshiping something. All of our lives devotion has been set in motion. Religion is dozen for a dime. Everybody is worshiping something, because that's what we were made to, and I choose You. All of my attention, affection, all my devotion is for You. If everybody's worshiping something, I choose You. You are beyond conception, defying definition, and you knew me before time. Centuries of pagans and idols fill the nations, but You are Lord to Me and Mine. Before I chose You, You first chose me. I worship You. You alone are worthy.

Lately I feel that when I dance before You it's not good enough. I don't feel your spirit like I used to, God, and I desire it. I desire to be deeper than I used to be. I want to come into the holies of holy. Is it me? Is it something I'm doing? Right now, putting everything aside, I want to vocally tell you that I'm not playing around. I was placed here to worship you. It's not by coincidence that You brought me out from where I'm supposed to be. It was by your unfailing love that I am who I am today. That will not be in vain. It's time to get serious.

Father God, right now, please accept this. It's coming straight from my heart and spirit for you.

"Borne of dust I get so dirty, but You pick me up, brush me off, send me on my way. Borne of flesh I get so caught up in my story. It's so human to concern myself with everything that I seem to be going through. But Lord, where would I be without this flesh to remind me? I was borne to breathe; borne to be broken; borne to realize that it's not I, but the You in me. Borne to live and borne to love You. I was born to die knowing that my life is not mine. So Lord, I thank you for the thorn that I've had to bare from the day that I was borne. Borne of love; love so perfect. You are Heaven's thought; gift of God; come to save the world. Borne of flesh and borne of spirit. My sweet Savior it's so like You to concern yourself with everything that I seem to be going through. Oh, Lord, where would I be without Your love to remind me? I was borne to breathe; borne to be broken; borne to realize that it's not I, but the You in me. Borne to live and borne to love You. I was born to die knowing that my life is not mine. So Lord, I thank you for the thorn that I've had to bare from the day that I was borne. You were borne to breathe; borne to be broken. Borne so that I would realize You are ALL I need. Borne to live and borne to love me. You were borne to die so that I could be completely free. Borne to breathe and borne to be broken. Borne so that I would realize You are ALL I need. Borne to live and borne to save me. You were borne to die so that I could be completely free. So, Lord, I thank you for the thorns You chose to bare so that I could be borne."

With your last breath I see love.
Through your death I see love.
Through your ressurection I see love.
I see peace in the eyes of a King.
I see hope in your suffering.
I see a calm in the center of the storm.
I see a savior.
I see the savior of all.

When I see you I see, I see a perfect example pure and perfect shining love.
You were borne to die for me.
I was borne to live for you.
And for as long as I shall live I will testify to love.

Imagine this:
 
-You're married.
-You have the perfect relationship with your spouse.
-You have three children - all boys.
-You find out that you're pregnant again - or for the guys, your wife is pregnant.
-Since you already have three boys, you have your heart set on having a baby girl.
-There's a new process that can be done to determine the sex of the baby at 2 months old.
-You go through with it and find out that you're having another boy.
-You can't really afford another child, but you're going to keep trying until you have a girl.
 
Do you go through with the easy way out?
 
The sad thing is that people are doing that.
Something that should get you prepared and excited about what gender you're having has turned into something hideous and inhumane; selective breeding.
 
There is a new process out that can determine the sex of the baby at as little as two months old. People have taken this and are using it to choose if they should have the baby or not. Gender specific is no reason to murder an innocent human, especially a baby. They didn't ask to be brought into this world, and they're gifts from Heaven. Children are our future and by eliminating their lives you eliminate the positive influences of  future generations.
 
A child in the womb is not a fetus. You do not hear women going around saying "I'm going to name my fetus Jessica" and you don't hear abortion doctors saying that "You can abort the fetus", they say you can abort the BABY.
 
Do you think it is an act of God to eliminate human life in the name of convenience after one of his commandments are "Thou shall not kill"? By allowing this to happen we are letting the devil run us over. He's killing out future. He is killing the children that will lead the world back to Jesus.
I'm sick of letting him. God has been dealing with me to get on my knees every night and pray about this, I'm going to start. This is not something to be taken lightly. God's word says that the child will lead them, but how can a murdered human lead anyone? We have got to take a stand. We've got to end this.
 
I encourage all who read this to go to Bound4life.com and get a free wristband. Please pray the prayer. Mean it. Stand for it. It's our future. This is our time and this is our dance. Stop falling through the trap doors that the enemy has set for us, and set him in his own traps.
 
"Jesus, I plead your blood over my sins, and the sins of America. God, end abortion and pour out Your spirit so strong over all of the nations that we won't know what to do other than praise you."
 
I'll leave you with the following:
 
"What if the armies of the Lord picked up and dusted off their swords? Vowed to set the captive free and not let satan have one more? What if the church for Heaven sake finally stepped up the plate? Took a stand upon God's promises and stormed hell's rusted gates? What if his people prayed and those who bare His name would only seek His face and turn from their old ways?
 
What would happen if we prayed for this raised up to lead the way? Then maybe kids in school could pray and unborn children see the light of day. What if the life that we purse can from a hunger for the truth? What if the family turned to Jesus and stopped asking Oprah what to do? "
 
What if we prayed? God hears the cries of his people and His word says that anything we ask in the name of Jesus shall be done.
 
Father God, I come to you in the name of Jesus and I ask you in the name of Jesus to please end abortion and pour out your spirit on all flesh. Amen.